February 2020

February 29, 2020February 29, 2020

Gaming Over 40: Cool Games but Multiplayer Sucks

My first gaming memories

There are some things in life you never forget. Memories can be powerful constructs that elicit a strong emotional connection to a specific thing or time in your life. I cannot tell you with certainty what the first game was that I ever played, but I am positive of the first game I remember playing. It was B17 Bomber on the Intellivision. The game was rudimentary by any measure today, but it was groundbreaking at the time. I was amazed how the game truly made me feel that I was flying over Europe bombing German encampments. Keep in mind that I was five or six years old. And now I am gaming over 40.

B17 Bomber on the Intellivision is the first game I remember playing

Click here to read more about my history with gaming

It is astonishing to me that I still remember the Konami Code and the sequence needed to jump to Mike Tyson in Punchout!! The secret levels in Super Mario Bros are as easy to recall as my first phone number. As time has progressed and the gaming industry has transformed, these types of memories have gone the way of the dodo. Today’s games have eliminated the need for codes and tricks. Now we get beautiful graphics, Hollywood caliber voice talent, and stories that rival anything on the silver screen.

The greatest generation is Gen-X

In the 1980s, the video game marketplace exploded onto the home entertainment scene in a huge way. My entire generation was caught up in the wonder and attraction of it all. I was no exception. As a child born in the 1970s, my generation is the first to have been born before gaming’s inception, but also to have embraced it wholly. My father dabbled with gaming on the Intellivision but he never toyed around the Nintendo Entertainment System at all. I may have gotten him to check some games out over the years, but he has never shown any interest in playing anything at length.

Within my peer group, nearly everyone I know is a gamer to some extent. Many of them are also gaming over 40. The reality of the gaming industry today is that there is something for everyone. You can find nearly every imaginable genre represented. This is because while there is a robust number of gaming manufacturers, the industry has invited Indie game designers into the arena with open arms.

Huge Game Selections — There is an incredible number of gaming titles available and retro game stores have popped up all over the country, catering to gaming nostalgia.

My kids are addicts

When my kids were born, I couldn’t wait to introduce them to the world of video games. Both of my sons spent time sitting on my lap watching me play. I would give them the occasional opportunity to take the controls on something easy. By the time they were three or four years old, they were playing certain games quite well.

In recent years we began to fight over access to the gaming consoles in the house. Eventually I could no longer avoid the need for everyone to have their own. Now we all game separately, but we are always talking about the games we play and compare our experiences with each other.

My oldest son has settled into Action RPGs as his genre of choice. His most recent games of note are Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice and Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. I have also played both and can vouch for their exceptional quality. My youngest son loves virtual reality. He splits his time between that and Roblox. His popular games right now in VR are Boneworks, VR Chat, and Beatsaber. I have played Beatsaber and understand its appeal, but I prefer Audica by Harmonix. I can honestly say I have never played Roblox but it has been on his play list for years.

Audica is my favorite VR game. It is made by Harmonix, the developers of Rock Band.

The games I play and why

When it comes to my current gaming habits, I seem to ebb and flow with my favorite games and genres. I generally have several games going at once, taking turns playing a different one from day to day. The current carousel of titles comprises Astroneer, Cities: Skylines, Batman: The Telltale Series, and I just finished the story in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. I still need to go in and complete all the loot quests.

That is a phenomenon that is new to gaming for me in recent years. I have this compulsive need to complete not only the main story but also the side quests and acquire all the elusive extra things. Some games are more involved than others. Red Dead Redemption 2, for example, has so many side quests and loot crates, that I almost lost my mind.

Batman: Arkham Asylum is the first game that ever gave me that level of dopamine fueled pleasure. Now that coveted 100% Completion Achievement is my constant lover and enemy. I get to the pinnacle of accomplishment just enough to keep me hooked at trying but not too much to cause me to find it useless.

Batman: Arkham Asylum 100% — Batman: Arkham Asylum was the first modern game that I achieved 100% completion on.

So many genres, so little time

As I get older, certain games attract me more than others. I also find that I go through cycles when it comes to the types of games that hold my attention. Additionally, some of the same titles will pop back into my playlist from time to time.

Some games that I have played a ton but seem to keep coming back to are:

Those are my favorite games of the last ten years. As a matter of fact, I will count down my favorite games of the last decade beginning next week.

Playing with my kids

As I mentioned earlier, I introduced my kids to gaming at a very young age. The first games we played together were Hasbro Family Game Night and the Lego Franchise games like Lego: Star Wars, and Lego: Batman. The fun was endless until they outgrew those titles.

Rock Band is a game that I have played since it came on the marketplace in 2007. Both of my kids were far too young to play it for many years, but they would tinker with the drums or wail into the microphone on occasion. The irony is that as soon as they were actually old enough and coordinated enough to play with me, they had no interest in it anymore. That is tragic, because I still pull that game out from time to time and I would love to play with them.

I spent countless hours and ridiculous amounts of money on this Rock Band when it was released in 2007.

When Minecraft showed up in 2011, my kids were both immediate adopters. I resisted playing it initially because it seemed childish, simplistic, and trivial. My mind quickly changed when I finally caved to the insistence of my children. I loved that game. I haven’t played it in a long while because it has evolved into a game that is so complex and involved that only the die hard players can truly appreciate the scope of its options. But for a few short years, barely a week went by that I wasn’t playing Minecraft with one of my boys for a few hours here and there.

Multiplayer sucks

The original Doom is the first game I recall having network play. It allowed you to enter a three dimensional world with your friends. The graphics and physics were not great but the experience was transformative. The first good title that brought it to the mainstream of acceptance was Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64. It allowed for 4 player PvP or Player versus Player. I literally burned away days of my life battling it out with friends in those maps.

There was a dark period of gaming in my life that I referenced in last week’s post. I was sort of broke most of the time and couldn’t keep up with the gaming world. When I finally rebounded and purchased an Xbox 360 I dove headfirst into the Multiplayer Gaming world with Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare. The argument can be made that CoD2 is still the greatest multiplayer game every made.Even in my early 30s, I was staying up until dawn killing adolescent children in the UK on a daily basis.

Call of Duty 2: Modern Warfare — I would stay up until dawn on a nightly basis playing this game.

Eventually I stopped playing online multiplayer games. Why? Because of asshole kids. It is astonishing to me that young children are playing some of these games to begin with. Beyond that, it is mind-numbing to hear the language that comes out of their mouths. I once had a child tell me to go fuck myself. He could not have been more than ten years old. 10 YEARS OLD. Tops…

Multiplayer continues to dominate

The industry of multiplayer gaming has taken the world by storm. Today we have tournaments filled with players from around the globe battling it out for real money. They have been dubbed Esports and they are constantly growing in popularity. I have loved gaming my whole life, but I cannot bring my self to watch Esports. I am sorry, but I just can’t. With that said, I am excited for the industry of gaming today. For the first time in history, the video game market made more money than the film industry. Without doubt, the production quality of some games rivals Hollywood productions.

For a period time a few years ago, I felt the gaming industry was forgetting about those of us that are gaming over 40. I think that changed when they saw the success of the Nintendo Wii with older audiences. The mobile gaming market has exploded recently and I am noticing more and more titles on PC and console that have adult themes, featuring characters that resemble me more than a hyper stylized Japanese teen.

I have hope for the future of gaming. I have a seen a resurgence of single player titles of late after years of multiplayer being the only option for the most popular releases. You may have noticed that until this point I have not mentioned Fortnite. I take issue with that game for one simple reason. Fortnite is a science experiment. It’s purpose was to stimulate award centers of the brain with reliable hits of dopamine. The whole game is one giant loot crate. In essence, it is free gambling. Of course there is no evidence of any of this…it’s just my opinion.

Regardless, fuck Fortnite. Never played it. Never will.

Christopher Hess, LMT

You can find me on gaming networks:
Xbox: ZeroOctane LMT
Playstation: ZeroOctaneLMT

February 28, 2020February 28, 2020

FIVE STEPS TO GO FROM FAT TO FITNESS

I am proof this can be done

In last week’s Fitness Friday post I recalled my history with weight gain and how I began my fitness journey. I will not recount the whole thing here for the sake of time, but I encourage you to click the link and check it out. The short version is that I reached my max weight in December of 2009. I tipped the scales at 279 pounds. The breaking point for me was a double whammy. It started one day that fall when my oldest son walked up to my ex-wife and pushed out his belly and said to my ex-wife that he wanted to be fat like his Dad. The straw that broke the camel’s back was walking into the bathroom one morning around my birthday and seeing actual stretch marks on my stomach.

In January of 2010 I made the decision to restrict my calorie intake while working out as much as I could. I bought a recumbent stationary bike and got to work. By the end of that spring, I was riding the bike three hours a day. That summer I started running and ran my first 5k in August. In less than one year I lost 100 lbs.

Running with my son — This is me jogging warm-up with my oldest son before my first 5k in 2010.

Over the years, I gained a lot of it back and then lost it again, and then gained it back again, and then lost it again. This is not an uncommon cycle.

I believe I have finally found a semblance of balance. While I am not at what I would consider an ideal weight, my other fitness markers allow me to feel content. I currently weight around 200 lbs depending on the day, but I have struggled with some diet choices in the last year. I will talk about that in further detail in Step 2.

Our weight and its effects are a uniquely human anomaly. We often gain weight at an alarming rate all whilst denying the obvious and explaining it away as a temporary change. For example we will proclaim that we always gain weight in the winter. It’s just winter weight, after all. Or we will put on ten pounds during the holidays and tell people that we do this every year and it will come off on its own. Worst yet, we will dismiss the weight gain as a unfortunate reality of getting older.

Losing weight has the opposite effect on our psyche but it is actually more devastating. As we lose the weight, we fail to sense the progress. Our need to be thin clouds the positive changes. Once we accomplish our weight loss, we will look at ourselves in the mirror or in pictures and still see a fat person. The absolute worst thing generally comes from our loved ones. When they see us with a dramatically different appearance, they will often tell us we look too thin. We look sick. This has a tragic effect on the mind. We often allow that mind-trick to derail our willpower and we slip back into old habits. And the weight begins to come back.

Have faith you can do this. Here are the five steps to go from fat to fitness.

Step 1: See your physician

It is important to note that I am not a doctor. I am also not a certified trainer, a nutritionist, or a dietitian. All I am is a person who has a long history with weight issues and I have had success transforming my body. With that said, before you attempt any weight loss journey, consult your physician. The first step is to get a full physical and have your labs checked for any possible health concerns.

Your physician is vital part of your fitness journey — Seeing your physician is paramount before beginning any fitness journey

Once you and your doctor have a clear understanding of your health, you can discuss what the best first steps are. If you are a life long smoker and have developed chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or COPD, you may not be able to run. For those of you that have extensive osteoarthritis, you may not be able to run. If you have diabetes, there may be dietary restrictions you have to follow. The benefit of having a clear understanding of you health is that you can compare your numbers once you have accomplished your goals.

When you get the green light from your doctor to begin your journey, you may want to find professionals to help guide you along the way. The first two that come to mind would be a personal trainer and a nutritionist. There is something important to keep in mind when choosing your health and wellness professionals. Personal trainers and nutritionists do not require any former schooling. There is also very little regulation of their industries. Be sure to consult family and friends to find a reputable professional that will be a good fit for you.

Step 2: Decide on a diet and stick to it

Before you ever step into a gym or start walking for exercise, you need to begin eating right. There is an expansive number of dietary options out there and they all have their benefits and detriments. As I stated above, when I went through my initial weight loss journey, I subscribed to the idea of Calories In / Calories Out. That is the idea that if you burn more calories than you take in, you will lose weight. This is common sense, in theory.

The reality is that the metabolism of the human body is unbelievably complex. It depends on a certain balance to maintain health and while you may lose weight quickly through starvation, the body will make evolutionary hormonal changes to ensure it returns to its set point. What that means to you is that if you starve yourself to lose weight, you are practically guaranteed to gain it all back.

During a period of effective weight loss a couple of years ago, I found lasting success with the Ketogenic Diet. The Keto diet, as it is often called, requires you to avoid carbohydrates at all costs. With most plans, you must remain under 35 grams of carbs a day. With Keto, even protein should be reduced with fat becoming the primary source of energy. I will save the science of Keto for another post, but I have had success with it. As a matter of fact, I am currently living a Keto lifestyle.

Other eating lifestyles that many people have healthy success with are Whole Food and Plant Based diets. These are both self explanatory. Separate from food intake, another type of lifestyle choice I advocate for is Intermittent Fasting which is otherwise known as IF. This requires you to go for extended periods of time without eating. We all fast for a period of time every day. We do not eat while we are sleeping, thus the first meal of the day is called breakfast. In other words, we are breaking our fast. There are several methods, or IF protocols you can follow, but try them until you find one that is best for you. The longer the fast period, the better the benefits. I participate in The Warrior Diet protocol. This entails a 20 hour fast period followed by a four hour eat window.

Step 3: Begin an exercise routine

When I lost the weight in 2010, I was incredibly out of shape. I was still strong from my years in the Marine Corps, but I had nearly zero cardiovascular endurance. When I first bought my stationary bike, I would be exhausted after less than thirty minutes. By that summer, I was easily pedaling away for three hours at a time. In the summer, I started running. At first, I could not effectively jog for more than a half of a mile at a time. By the end of the summer, I ran a rather fast 5k.

Fast forward ten years to today and my fitness is at its peak. In 2019, I participated in 26 events. They were a mix of running and cycling. I ran 10 Half Marathons (13.1 miles) and 2 full marathons (26.2 miles). I rode my bike in five charity events that were 100 miles a piece. Three times in the last four years, I have participated in The Dopey Challenge at Walt Disney World. This is four races over four consecutive days. The runs consist of a 5k (3.1 miles), 10k (6.2 miles), half marathon (13.1 miles), and a full marathon (26.2 miles). That is a total of 48.6 miles in four days.

The 6 medals I received for the 2019 Dopey Challenge. Four races and two challenges. A total of 48.6 miles.

You can get there, but it won’t happen overnight. You have to walk before you can run. I hear people say all the time that they don’t like to run. I agree it is an acquired taste, but trust me when I tell you that if you keep doing it, you will fall in love with it. They call it the runner’s high and it is a real thing. It is an endorphin surge that occurs in the brain in response to long periods of high cardiovascular activity. If you get there, you are effectively hooked on running.

The reality is that not everyone can run. You may have limitations from a previous injury or arthritis that restricts your ability to bear the weight and impact of running. If that is the case, get on a bike. You can get an amazing workout on a bike without the strain on your joints, whether you ride on a trail or on the road. If cycling is also not your thing, swimming is a wonderful full body workout that takes all the gravitational effects off your body. This may be especially helpfully if you begin this journey morbidly obese.

Step 4: Set realistic goals

Once you decide to get started with exercise, set a realistic goal and work toward it. Depending on your current weight and health, setting a one mile walking goal may be it. If you have been healthy in the past but declined in recent years, perhaps a 5k is a good goal. If you are more ambitious, set a half marathon as your goal. Regardless of your goal, keep your eye on the prize.

Your exercise journey is not complete if you reach your goal. That is the time to set a new goal. Health and fitness is a lifestyle. Once you start to live it, keep living it. I did not run my first full marathon until I was 40. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how heavy you are, set a realistic goal and get to work.

Setting a weight goal is difficult. We all have an ideal weight, based on national health standards or past weights where we felt our best. But I will caution that weight isn’t the most important marker. Health and fitness and your measurements are the primary benchmarks of success. Instead of focusing on pounds, aim for a clothing size. How you look and feel is infinitely more important than what the scale says.

With that said, weigh and measure yourself often. Track your progress in the app of your choice. I have used a number of them over the years. I am currently using Samsung Health to track my health markers and I use Strava to track fitness.

Strava is my app of choice for tracking fitness

In a future post, I will break down some of the apps I have used over the years.

Step 5: Join a group or several

In today’s fitness world, there are all kinds of groups you can belong to. There are peer social groups like Meetup that will organize runs, bike rides, or hikes. There are local run groups all over the country that schedule group runs and sponsor event training. Nearly every city has a cycling club that offer weekly rides of varying difficulty. There are even online groups that you can join that are effectively all over the world. I am a member of several of these groups. Regardless of the race I attend, there is someone from one of those groups there.

I am currently an active member of Shenanigans Run Team, Rvm Rvnners, RWB, Onondaga Cycling Club, and Autism Speaks. There are so many out there, it would be impossible to even form a comprehensive list.

RWB is just one of several running groups I participate in.

The best thing to do when you are getting started is to find friends that are into fitness and tag along with them. Eventually, they will introduce you to groups and you can find the best ones for you. The primary benefits to these groups is that they provide a sense of community and they also help to hold you accountable. That is invaluable to achieving success.

I have done all of this and you can too

They often say that it is about the journey and not the destination. This is especially true when it comes to your health and fitness journey. The last ten years of my life have provided the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I have had pitfalls along the way, but I have always returned to the correct path.

It will be hard at times but it will also be hugely rewarding. You just need to stick with it.

As you are preparing to begin your fitness journey, please know that the first step you take will be the hardest. Everything gets easier as you do it.

Have faith you can do this.

Christopher Hess, LMT

If you have not done so already, please subscribe to this blog. On a PC, it can be found on the right sidebar. If you are on a mobile device, it is likely at the bottom of the page. I appreciate you joining me in this endeavor.

February 27, 2020February 27, 2020

The Day of The Mouse

Over the last week I have introduced readers to a new format here at The Daily Octane. Beginning last Friday, each and every day will offer an article on a select group of topics of which I feel I have some level of expertise. There is a specific topic for each day and Wednesdays are a Wildcard.

Thursdays will be all about Disney!

In case you live under a rock, I will take a moment to explain what the word “Disney” encompasses. Without question, it includes all of the films and television the Walt Disney Company has produced since 1923, when Roy and Walter Elias Disney formed the studio.

The collection of theme parks also fall under the umbrella of this topic. Walt created WED Works to design attractions for the World’s Fair in 1952. He later renamed it Walt Disney Imagineering and together they designed Disneyland, which opened in California in 1955. Walt Disney World in Florida opened in 1971 after Walt’s death. The Walt Disney company later opened parks in Paris, Hong Kong, Tokyo and most recently in Shanghai.

The Daily Octane is a Disney expert?

First of all, I am definitely no expert on Disney. People in my life and others that I follow on social media are actual experts on Disney and all its related nonsense. In comparison, I am an exceptionally passionate aficionado. In my 44 years, I have seen nearly every Disney movie, been to every park in The United States, and I have sailed with Disney Cruise Lines several times. I am a Disney Vacation Club member, a D23 member, a Disney World Annual Passholder, and I have run the Dopey Challenge three times to date. I have read close to every biography on Walt and watched all the reputable documentaries.

December's Passholder Magnets — These are the Festival of The Arts Passholder Magnets I scored on my December trip to Disney World.

As for the rest of the family of IPS, my fandom continues.

I have been a life-long Star Wars fan. The first movie Star Wars movie premiered in 1977. The Empire Strikes Back was the second release in 1980. Both movies were on television by the time I saw them. They captivated me immediately. I finally saw Return of The Jedi in 1983 in theaters. I was awestruck by the villainy of Jabba the Hutt. The menacing danger of the Rancor terrified me. The friendly nature of the Ewok Wicket made me want to be on Endor with my heroes. I could not take my eyes off the final terrifying showdown Luke had with Lord Vader and The Emperor.

Like millions of other fans, I clamored for a seat for the release of The Phantom Menace in 1999. I can still recall my mood that day. As I realized the movie wasn’t good, there was an undeniable shift from pure bliss to abject horror. The next 16 years was hard to bear as a fan while I endured the prequel trilogy and waited for the newest crop of movies.

Disney buys Star Wars

The Star Wars fandom is an odd assortment of people. I believe that the story’s broad appeal invites a large swath of society in it’s narrative. It was brilliant of George Lucas to offer something for everyone. Unfortunately, the fanbase is too large. Nothing ever satisfies the mob. Fan reactions were split when Disney bought Lucasfilm. Many people were excited for the opportunity to see what the bottomless purse strings of Disney’s could accomplish. Possibly even more people were aghast at the idea of Disney making Star Wars too much for kids. Keep in mind this is after the debacle that was Jar Jar Binks.

Greg McCullough‘s rendition of Jedi Mickey

Now that the overarching Skywalker Saga has concluded, the verdict is still out on Disney’s involvement in the franchise. I could make the argument that the best of Star Wars is not even in theaters. Disney has been involved in two animated shows and both are amazing. It started with The Clone Wars 2008 and later with Star Wars: Rebels in 2014. Of course, The Clone Wars started under Lucas on The Cartoon Network. When Disney bought Lucasfilm, they moved it Disney XD and the last few seasons of the show was amazing. Clone Wars has recently to television, with a long awaited 7th season airing currently on Disney+. Perhaps the best Star Wars story to date is The Mandelorian, which premiered on Disney+ in November of 2019. I will cover The Mandelorian in detail in a story very soon on this blog.

From the comic book to the screen

Comic Books have been a part of my life since I was twelve years old. My first comic book was an issue of Batman. The issue featured Anthony Zucco’s release from prison. He killed Robin’s parents and Batman was helping Robin avoid his internal desire to seek vengeance. The adult themes were amazing to me. Batman, along with many of the more iconic super heroes are DC Comics properties. As the years went on, I added more and more titles form DC like Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern and many more. Even with an endless appetite for comics, I rarely read anything by Marvel.

I watched Richard Donner’s Superman movies as a child and was beyond excited for Tim Burton’s Batman movie in 1989. As the 90s came, the Superhero genre of movies grew more and more stylized and campy. They were not moving in the right direction. This changed in 2008 when Marvel Studios released Iron Man. They took a second tier character and transformed him into the figurehead of a franchise and began a whole new method of movie making.

The following year, Disney bought Marvel. Through a series of restructuring efforts and backdoor deals, they created what has become known as The Marvel Cinematic Universe and are currently making more than a billion dollars on every movie they release. The 2019 theatrical release of Avengers Endgame is the highest grossing movie of all time at just under 2.8 billion dollars.

Avengers Endgame is the highest grossing movie of all time.

The Happiest Place on Earth

In this past Monday’s blog post, Massage Therapy Mondays, I recount my long failure-filled career. Along that journey, I landed for a brief time in Disneyland. When it opened on July 17th, 1955, Disneyland was a first of its kind. It was an immediate smash success and other companies have been trying for decades to copy the formula.

There is something very special about the Disney magic you find within their parks. The parks feature a well blended mixture of cleanliness, vibrant color, totally immersive theming, and world-class customer service. When you arrive on a Disney property you leave the outside world behind and it is intoxicating.

As I said before, I only worked for Disneyland for a brief time, but it left an indelible mark on me. I hooked my kids on Disney shortly after they were born. Later, I added Pixar, Star Wars and Marvel. In 2014, my ex-wife and I were finally at a point in our lives where we could afford a trip to Walt Disney World in Florida. It will forever be one of the greatest experiences of my life and it began a new phase of fanaticism for me.

I had never visited there as a child. My parents are not exactly park people. We went to Florida often because my grandmother lived in Naples, but never Disney. One year we went Busch Gardens in Tampa, but never Disney. As history will show, I was the one to take my parents to Disney World first. I dragged them along in January 2016 to watch me run my first full marathon, The Walt Disney World Marathon. That was also my first runDisney event. That is another addiction I have and once again, I will cover runDisney much further in future posts.

Dopey Challenge Medals — This is me in front of Cinderella’s Castle and The Partners Statue with my medals from the 2019 Dopey Challenge.

I am a fan for life

It is impossible for me to imagine a scenario in which I stop being a Disney fan. It is not uncommon for me randomly start listening to music from their movie soundtracks while working around the house. I have made true friends of people I have met in the parks and on their cruise ships.

A few years ago, I went to an actual wedding inside EPCOT. A former Disney Imagineer considers me a friend. My girlfriend and our sons were at Hollywood Studios for official public opening of Galaxy’s Edge, their new Star Wars themes section of the park. I scored early private access to Pandora, the Avatar themed land in Disney’s Animal Kingdom before it opened to the public in 2017. I signed up for the Keys to The Kingdom Tour at The Magic Kingdom a few years ago. It is an amazing tour of the backstage areas of the park. The hightlight is the Utilidors, which are the underground access tunnels of the park.

Needless to say, I am a fan for life. And going forward, Thursdays will be The Day of The Mouse on The Daily Octane.

Christopher Hess, LMT

February 26, 2020February 26, 2020

Wildcard Wednesdays

Note: Over the next week, I will be introducing readers (however few there are) to the new format of The Daily Octane. Each day will be the topic reveal for that calendar day going forward. Additionally, I will provide context for why I feel I have ANY business even writing about the subject.

A New Beginning

As I was planning out this blog several weeks ago, I came up with seven topics for seven days with ease. There was no question that I had even more than seven topics I could discuss on a weekly basis. I ran into a problem limiting it to seven.

I made the choice to pick the top six that I could topically write about on a weekly basis. With those six topics established, I then brainstormed a myriad of ideas for the coming months and Wildcard Wednesdays was born.

Click Here to read about the decision to start over

From this day forward, I may grab something from the headlines and take some time to inject my opinion on the matter. If not a headline, I may write about a topic that doesn’t fall under the defined parameters of the other days. Wednesdays will be kind of loose since that is really the point.

Its all about what you know

At 44 years old, I have acquired a rather sufficient amount of life experience. However, I am also not a dive bar old timer obfuscating about better days gone by. Some subjects I feel I have passion about and a modicum of insight on include:

Politics

I serve on the local Democratic Committee and my girlfriend works professionally in politics. Recently, I have started getting involved in local politics. I certainly have a vocal opinion.

Travel

In a small way, tomorrow’s topic will touch on some travel topics. It is not only about travel, so Wednesdays will be a good spot for this topic. In my years, I have been to most of the United States. During my military days, lived in Japan and traveled around southeast Asia a bit. The Bahamas and the Caribbean have recently been favorite destinations and I am planning to hit Europe next year. I have cruised several times and will certainly be doing that more in the future.

The coast of Saint Lucia. Soufrie is on the left and The Petite Piton is on the right. — This was shot with my DJI Mavic Pro on the west coast of Saint Lucia. The city of Soufrie is on the left and the Petite Piton is on the right.

Small Business

Being a small business owner for six years has offered me some insight into the pitfalls and rewards of being your own boss. I have made the transition into having employees and changed business entities. I have lost employees and gained wisdom. There is a lot to unpack.

Parenting

The most beautiful thing about parenting is that there is no right way to do it. The most terrifying thing about parenting is that there is no right way to do it. That is Dad life in a nutshell. I have two teenage boys and coparent with my ex-wife pretty well. There is always something to discuss there.

Me & my boys — This is me with my two boys at Disney’s Hollywood Studios a few years ago. It is nearly impossible to get all three of us in a photo together. Teenagers are a pain.

Food & Drink

Without any doubt, I am a foodie and a wine/beer snob. My Italian Mother taught me a ton about cooking and how to do it well. I also eat out on the regular basis. A wide variety of beer and wine pleasures my palette, but I am currently Keto, so wine it is at present time. When I travel, I feel compelled to post all of my food on social media. I am aware that I am a victim to modern social media tropes and I am okay with that.

The charcuterie plate at Tiffins — This is the charcuterie plate at Tiffins in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It is my favorite Disney restaurant.

There is undoubtedly many other subjects in which I can put several hundred words on the interwebs for your enjoyment. Only time will tell how interesting it will be.

An interesting start

Before I close down today’s post, I would like to look back on the past week. I know there is another topic to go tomorrow, but that is probably THE topic people been expecting, so it won’t be a surprise to most. Over the past week, I have taken a website that I have owned for years and finally decided to do something with it. I have connected it to my Adsense account, researched and implemented several plugins to improve layout and functionality, learned how to established a Pinterest presence and began establishing a following there.

What is amazing to me is that people are finding this blog and actually reading it. It is not just my social media networks either. This blog is getting search traffic from Google and Pinterest searches. While I am not going to see any money from Google anytime soon, I have “earned” six cents. That makes me laugh but it is still money.

Once again, I know this is a short post. Tomorrow’s topic is the one that I probably have the most to say about so I will give you plenty to read then. I hope you come back for more…

Christopher Hess, LMT

February 25, 2020February 25, 2020

Tech Tuesdays

Hello, My name is Chris and I am a Technoholic.

There is absolutely no doubt about. I legitimately cannot help it. If you are a consumer electronic manufacturer and need a guinea pig, I am most assuredly your guy. I love to add new gadgets and gizmos to my diverse smart home setup. If That Then This, otherwise known as IFTTT, and I have a powerful relationship. We will get into that service another time.

In my Saturday blog post, Gaming Saturdays, I recalled my early exposure to The Intellivision gaming system at age 4. As I grew up into my adolescence and then teens, my parents were amazing about feeding my technoholic addiction. Christmas morning brought programmable robots, walkie talkies, computers, and a myriad of other 80s wonders.

As I reached adulthood and personal computing began to really take off with the arrival of the modern internet, I entered a new world of techie amazement. Suddenly I could research the hot new thing. News about technology trends was being fed to me on a daily basis through a screen in my home office. E3, or the Electronic Entertainment Expo, was coming to prominence in the industry at the same time I was living in southern California. I attended the event several times. It was like entering Heaven and I fell deeper into my addiction.

The Electronic Entertainment Expo, aka E3 is held annually in Los Angeles.

Being a Technoholic is hard when you are broke

The main issue that plagued me in my 20s was a decided lack of funds. The first few years were ok because I was still in the Marine Corps. It is shocking how much extra money a young guy in the military has if they don’t drink and live in the barracks. Once I was married and separated from active duty, that changed in a significant way.

Regardless of my financial woes, I still found ways to obtain the elusive gadgetry my brain and heart required. I got my hands on a cell phone as an early adopter of the technology. I had a touchscreen computer monitor long before the usefulness of it was even realized by developers. Surround sound found its way into my home as soon as that was developed. That was purchased with a Radio Shack credit card, in case you want to conceptualize how long ago that was.

Generally, I was able to beg, borrow, or steal my way into the tech world enough to keep the demons away.

Real jobs make real money

In yesterday’s post, Massage Therapy Mondays, I recount my years after the Marine Corps where I continued my trend of low income, unsatisfying employment. But in 2001 I landed a job at AT&T in which I made more money than one would expect from a call center job in Syracuse, NY. Cue some new and amazing tech in my life.

One could say I went on a rampage for several years. I sought out the very best laptop and desktop. Gaming systems found their way into every useful room of my apartment. As soon as they hit Best Buy, I bought a 1080p rear projection television that was an absolute monstrosity in hindsight.

This is not a photo of my actual television, but it is a similar model. It was enormous.

All the purchases I and the overdrawn credit cards and fights with my ex-wife during that time seem quaint compared to today.

Now that I am firmly seated in my 40s and have achieved a modicum of success financially, I cannot help myself. Luckily, I have an amazing girlfriend that keeps me pretty humble and grounded. She also this innate way of scowling at me when I attempted to adopt a new technology that simply isn’t necessary.

It is still everywhere, no matter what

Regardless of her ability to oversee my spending, my girlfriend had not yet arrived on the scene when I was doing most of my recent collecting.

The Smart Home marketplace is inundated with wondrous options for someone life me. Here is a brief list of the smart home gadgets I enjoy everyday in my home:

Phillips Hue Lighting System
Nest Thermostat
Ring Doorbell
Blink Camera System
Google Home

Additionally, I have been a huge fan of some other tech that I will highlight in future posts here. These include, but are certainly not limited to:

Wahoo Kickr
GoPro Cameras
DJI Majic Pro Drone
Samsung S9+
Samsung Galaxy Tab S6
Boosted Board
An assortment of Gaming Tech

I am by no means a tech expert. I am a hobbyist at best, but I am incredibly passionate and try to keep with any and all news coming out of that industry. Please come along as I dive deep into my obsession in future Tuesday posts.

Christopher Hess, LMT

Remember to come back tomorrow when I reveal Wednesday’s topic.

February 24, 2020February 27, 2020

Massage Therapy Mondays

One of the most common questions I get asked on a regular basis is, “How did you end up becoming a massage therapist?” If you don’t know me and are setting eyes on me for the first time, that is a totally logical question to ask. If there is a stereotypical look for a massage therapist, I am about as far from that as one can get.

A Dead End Professional Career

I graduated high school in 1993 from a small rural school in the Fingerlakes region of New York State. During my childhood, I was fairly sheltered from the rest of the world and my upbringing was one a typical middle class conservative family. I started working when I was 14 years old at a dairy farm. That was shit work (see what I did there?) and lasted only a few short weeks. At sixteen, I took a job at The Hollywood Restaurant in Auburn, NY. Some of the teens I ran with at the time had also worked there so it seemed a logical choice. I worked as a dishwasher and then later as a prep cook.

I tried college for a bit. The world of television and radio was calling me. My aspirations out shined my ambition and I quickly floundered. At the same time, I was struggling to socially adapt to adulthood and began an excessive amount of drug use. None of it was illicit narcotics or anything like that, but it was affecting me all the same.

Click here to read about how Sundays Are For Entertainment

There is an age old trope in early adult life. If you feel trapped and need to escape your life, go in the military. So that is precisely what I did. I landed in The United States Marine Corps and left for Parris Island in November of 1994. While in the Corps, I carried the Military Occupational Specialty (or MOS) of 4641, which is a Still Photographic Specialist, otherwise known as Combat Camera. That was a lot of fun and high stress but it served me in a transformational way. Like many veterans, I left the military with a clearly defined understanding of work ethic, responsibility, and initiative.

After my separation from active duty, I stayed in Southern California, where my last assignment was. To make money, I worked part-time as a bouncer. I also started selling cars. A dear friend of mine at the time was doing that and he brought me into the dealership. I had a knack for it but it was still not enough money for life in Huntington Beach, CA so I sought out something additional.

On a whim, I walked into the casting offices of Disneyland. The first time I entered a Disney Theme Park was AFTER being hired to work there. Like so many people in this world, I was a Disney fan, so working in the park seemed a logical thing to do in my early 20s.

A little over a year later I decided to move back to New York. I took a job as a car salesman at a local dealership and also worked part-time in a camera store. Neither was financially fruitful. This is primarily due to a dramatically shorter car sales season in an area with prevalent snowfall.

I Begin My First Real Job

In 2001, my aunt was able to get me a job at AT&T. I worked in customer service and sales in their small business division. Business to Business sales served me well and I was good at it. I commonly ranked high in their national salesperson rankings…right up until the call center closed in the spring of 2005. Over the next three years I jumped from sales job to sales job, never being satisfied. Along the way, I learned about wholesale distribution, payroll administration, media marketing, and advertising. Sadly, I even sold male enhancement products in the middle of the night at a toll-free number call center. That was gross.

All of that changed in the fall of 2008 when the stock market crashed. Overnight, the sales jobs dried up. The company I was at called 75% of their workforce into a large conference room and unceremoniously fired us. The President at the time, George W. Bush, along with Congress, passed an Unemployment Insurance Benefit extension, which allowed me to collect payments for 99 weeks. I realized during that time that I was not qualified to do anything but sales. And there were no sales jobs in Syracuse right then.

Sometime in 2010, a friend called me out of the blue. It was a woman I worked with at a Karaoke joint. I used to be a DJ while she was tending bar. The call changed my life and I will never forget it. I was walking the aisles at a Wegmans, shopping with no money, when I answered the ring.

She was going back to school. She wanted to be an esthetician. Her current boss wanted her find someone to replace her position. That was where I came in. She went on to explain that the owner could be sort of difficult to work for. He was a chiropractor but also a massage therapist and a good business man. He also didn’t want to waste time on a hiring process and was trusting her to find me. I took the job.

My Entrance Into Massage

Over the next couple of years, I went from receptionist to office manager. I played a part in the growth of the business and along the way I learned a lot of valuable information about the industry I was in.

In late 2012, a series of events occurred that forced me to make a difficult decision. I will most assuredly address this in a later blog post but for now lets just say I made the choice to leave the office I worked at. There was only one thing I realistically should do at that time. I registered for Massage School.

The Onondaga School of Therapeutic Massage is without a shadow of doubt the best in the region. They have two campuses, one in Rochester, New York and the other in Syracuse, where I went. If you ever wondered what massage school is like, lets just say it is unbelievably different than traditional college. I will recount that transitional period of my training at a later time, as there are a load of good stories.

One amazing reality that is hard to believe all these years is that I had no earthly clue in 2012 if I was even going to like being a massage therapist, never mind be any good it. Thankfully, it turns out both were incredibly true.

I graduated in June of 2013 as the Salutatorian of my class. I passed my boards and was officially licensed by New York State in October of that year. My first paid massage position was at Align Chiropractic & Massage in East Syracuse, NY. It was owned by two friends and former co-workers of mine from the previous office. Immediately, I knew I had found my calling.

Less than a year after starting with them, and just slightly over a year after graduating massage school, I made the choice to open my own practice. In hindsight, it was a very humble beginning. I rented a single room in an old house that was converted to offices. I borrowed a small amount of money from a friend and purchased a high end massage table, a website, a computer, and sheets. The rest is history.

At a later time, I will recount the growth of my company and how I got to where I am today. For now, I will leave you with this:

Camillus Massage Therapy, P.C.

Presently, my humble company that started as a small DBA has evolved into a professional corporation. Camillus Massage Therapy, P.C. employs twelve employees working a varied schedule in four treatment rooms. We have business relationships with The Upstate Cancer Center and Syracuse University to provide chair event services for events. I also have a contract with Syracuse University Athletics where I serve as the only Licensed Massage Therapist providing treatment to that department. That work consists of season long treatment of several of the teams, and it is work I love.

This is me at The Ride for The Rescue, which is an annual cycling charity event. — My staff often provides sports event at cycling and running events

Another amazing working relationship is with The Onondaga School of Therapeutic Massage where I serve on their Program Advisory Committee. They invite me to come to the school to speak on Q&A panels for new students, participate in strokes clinics where I assess the preparedness of students to enter public clinic, and as a facilitator of mock interviews for the students preparing for graduation.

I could not have imagined being where I am today when I graduated High School. I also couldn’t be any happier. My career is the most fulfilling thing I have ever experienced next to the love of my two sons.

After 25 years of being pretty good at some things, I have become an expert at this. Massage Therapy is a growing industry with more and more acceptance as a medical treatment option. I have plans for the future in this field, but I will keep those pretty close to my chest for the time being.

In future blog posts, I will make an attempt to demystify the massage industry and explain exactly what it is that I do and maybe answer some lingering questions people have.

Christopher Hess, LMT

Be sure to return tomorrow to see what Tuesday’s topic will be.

February 23, 2020February 23, 2020

Sundays Are For Entertainment

We all like to be entertained. For many of us, it is enjoyment of movies, books, music, and television that helps us get through every day. Activities like reading a book are solo. We curl up with a cup of coffee on the couch and find solitude from the rigors of the day. Going to the theater, whether it is a live production or the newest Hollywood blockbuster, is something we often do with friends and family. How many times have you looked forward to going to work, so you can discuss the newest show you just saw on Netflix? A good concert can be the ultimate catharsis. There are few things in this world quite as moving as an arena full of people singing Piano Man back to Billy Joel.

Are you not entertained?

We older people fondly recall Maximus demanding an answer to that question from the crowd in the 2000 film, Gladiator. Ridley Scott created an absolute masterpiece. That film will be watched and revered for generations. Hollywood is an odd product of human society. Over the course of what is effectually a short period of time, a collection of artistic minds created an entire industry in the beautiful hills of Southern California.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Charles Dickens penned that line as the opening for his 1859 book, A Tale of Two Cities. He took the reader on a sort of existential journey. English teachers use that book as an introduction to a higher level of writing and students lament its meaning. Regardless, it is another masterpiece. It is also only one of millions of books, poems, and short stories written by authors of all walks of life. If there is a subject you can imagine, someone has written about it.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.

The Beatles released their Help! album in 1965 and Yesterday became one of a slew of #1 hits for the band. Rock music is relatively new to the scene when you consider music has been around for centuries. It has changed dramatically from its beginnings with Elvis Presley, who many consider to be the pioneer of the sound. It is difficult to even compare The Beatles with U2 or The Foo Fighters, but its all rock n roll. Aside from Rock, there are many other genres of music that fill the airwaves of radio stations around the world.

Winter is coming.

You speak that line and people instantly know you are referring to HBO‘s series, Game of Thrones. Television is a medium that has substantially evolved over the course of its history. It started, very humbly, with just a couple of broadcast companies airing live productions. The producers of these programs generally came from radio backgrounds and framed the scripts as they would for that medium. Over the century since it started, television has transformed into an on-demand spectrum of options. The production value of some shows rivals anything the movie industry creates.

There are so many ways to be entertained.

My passion for all forms of entertainment is more than the sum of its parts. I am not an avid reader anymore, but I have a nearly encyclopedic understanding of the music industry. In general, if a movie is not based on a comic book character, I may skip it. That genre has become so prevalent, it is hard to have a bank account substantial enough for anything else in the theater. As for television, there is always something I am watching. I love dramas, sci-fi, anime, comedies, cartoons, and everything else under the sun.

Like you, I love to be entertained…

Come back each and every Sunday, when I will recount my favorite movies, or list the best television cartoons, or tell a concert story in which I almost died. There are so many things to discuss.

Christopher Hess, LMT

Be sure to come back tomorrow to find out what Monday’s topic will be.

Click here to learn about my history with gaming consoles

February 22, 2020February 23, 2020

Gaming Saturdays

A Brief History of Gaming

Games are as old as human history. There are depictions of ancient Greek combatants playing dice on the battlefield. The vikings were known to play chess. The Romans popularized the Gladiatorial battles. The Greeks also held the Olympic Games. In recent decades, family based board games have been all the rage. During the 1970s, computerized video games began to find their way into our lives. In the 1980s and 90s, competitive card games like Magic the Gathering took hold of a whole flock of less desirable youth.

Greek heroes Achilles and Ajax playing a dice game between battles at the siege of Troy.
(Image credit: Jakob Bådagård/Public domain)

When it came to games, my childhood is very typical. At a young age, I was exposed to Chutes & Ladders, Checkers, Chess, Monopoly, and a slew of card games. That is just a minuscule sampling. The reality is that gaming was only a small part of my daily existence. That reality fundamentally changed forever in 1979 when my parents made the choice to invest in an Intellivision. The Mattel company began development of the Intellivision gaming console in 1977. Coincidentally, the Atari 2600 exploded onto the home entertainment scene that very year.

The battle between system adopters in the late 70s and early 80s pales in comparison to today’s feuds between Playstation and Xbox, but it was there all the same. While I was decidedly late to the video gaming world (relatively, of course. I was only 4 years old), I was firmly in the Intellivision camp. It wasn’t until years later that I even tinkered around with an Atari. Some of my friends had Ataris and that was enough for me.

So Many Consoles & So Little Time

While I started my gaming odyssey with the Intellivision, I most certainly did not end it there. My collection of gaming systems has been vast and nearly complete. Everyone likes a good list, so here is mine:

Intellivision
- The Intellivoice add on the system, which debuted in 1982 added realistic voice to the gaming experience
Commodore 64 landed on the scene in 1982, although I didn’t get mine for another year or two. The Commodore was akin to a Personal Computer and was trying to battle for market share from Apple and IBM. Still, its primary selling point was its library of role playing games, which were groundbreaking at the time.
The N intendo Entertainment System exploded into the US market in 1986 after a slow roll out in Japan and then select markets in the US. Its fundamentally changed the gaming genre with enhanced graphics and a corporate philosophy of total control of the game development. The NES was the first system to have an iconic trademark level character in Mario.

The iconic plumber. He was the first gaming ambassador.

Click here to learn about Fitness Fridays

The Gameboy was a logical followup to the NES in 1989, allowing players to take the games with them wherever they went. It would not be the last handheld gaming system, but its name is still synonymous with portable gaming to this day.
The TurboGrafx-16 quietly came on the scene that same year. It featured groundbreaking 16 bit graphics and an alternative art style in its game design. The company struggled with marketing failures, a very high price point, and abysmal title options. However, I can still remember my amazement when I first set eyes on the gameplay.
The Sega Genesis was the first attempt from the startup company, Sega Games Co. It also beat Nintendo to the 16 bit gaming world, but its relative obscurity did not make it a huge hit right away.
The Super Nintendo was released in 1991 and was the first Nintendo system to have 16 bit graphics. Even though it was second to the market, Nintendo still dominated the marketplace.
The Sony Playstation was the first gamechanger on the scene in 1995 offering 32 bit graphics. Sega did not have the juice to battle Nintendo, but Sony had large stores of capital for research and development. They came on the scene ready for war. In addition to 32 bit graphics, The Playstation brought the introduction of Compact Discs to the gaming world, which had traditionally consisted of cartridges.

The Nintendo 64 was the answer to the Playstation, debuting in 1996. While it remained a cartridge based game system, it was my first 3D gaming experience.
- as a side note, I actually got a Nintendo 64 before a Playstation. It was also the first game system I ever bought with my own money. I was a Private in The United States Marine Corps at the time. I have wonderful memories of hanging out in the barracks with my fellow Jarheads playing these games. The Nintendo 64 was also a very robust system. I still have that original console I bought all those years ago and it still works.
I got the Playstation 2 at launch in 2000. My cousin stood in line all night for me at Walmart because I was working as a bar bouncer at the time. Thanks, Ben. This game system was extraordinary and still stands the test of time. It was the gold standard of gaming for years, despite the release of the first Xbox.
The Nintendo Dual Screen or DS as it is generally called debuted in 2004. I have actually owned several iterations of DS models, but I will not list them all out here.
The Xbox 360 thrust onto the scene in 2005 and was a massive hit. You may notice that I didn’t list the original Xbox as a console. I never owned one. To this day, I have never had an original Xbox in my position. While I have played it, it was never really impressed with it. The Xbox 360 was also not purchased right away, as I did not bite the bullet and buy one until 2007 when Harmonix released Rock Band on consoles.

The Playstation Portable or PSP also came out in 2005. Sony was not quite ready for a new console, so they attacked Nintendo’s strangle hold on the portable market. I owned one, but I believe I only ever owned four or five games. My oldest son got far more use out of it than I ever did.
The Nintendo Wii launched in 2006 to immediate and enormous success. That holiday season it was THE hot ticket. You could not find a Wii on the shelves that year. People made small fortunes selling them on Ebay and other sites. Once again, I had this system at “launch” but my ex-wife wouldn’t let me have it until Christmas. Supposedly, it was for the kid. It is important to note that The Wii was the first game system with wholly broad appeal. I can recall the news stories of geriatric residents of group homes playing Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling in the common areas of their retirement communities.
The Playstation 4 arrived in 2014. It was the first console I purchased specifically for my son. It was a Christmas gift for him that year. I played it some, but it was decidedly his. That is until I stole it from him years later and it still sits in my office right next to me as I type this article.
The newest console on the market (for me at least) is the Xbox One. The Xbone, as some people sarcastically call it, was released in 2013. Once again, I did not buy one right away. I was not exactly wealthy at the time and I was having a harder and harder time convincing my wife (at the time) to let me get one. I have five of them in the house now that I am divorced.
My latest purchase is my gaming PC. I own an iBUYPOWER Gaming Tower and it is a powerhouse. I am not going to bore you with the specs, but it is quite the system. It is used for Steam gaming and especially for my:
- Occulus Rift VR system, which is the first of the big two VR systems. I do not own an HTC Vibe, but I am well aware of how good that system is too.

In Closing…

While that is all quite the exhaustive list, there are plenty of gaming systems I have never owned. I may touch on some of them in future posts.

I am no expert on gaming, console, PC, or otherwise, but I am going to certainly make an attempt to express my feelings on the subject in future Saturdays. If you are a fan of gaming, please join me.

Christopher Hess, LMT

Come back tomorrow for Sunday’s Topic reveal.

February 21, 2020February 22, 2020

Fitness Friday

I was never really thin as a child. I wasn’t exactly fat either. Rather, I existed somewhere in the middle of the road. Taking a gander back at yearbook pics and such has led me to understand that I was fairly nondescript. In High School, that can actually be a good thing. Best to not stand out either way. I played some sports in school. In the 7th and 8th grade, I tried to play basketball. That was at the peak of Michael Jordan’s career and everyone wanted to “Be Like Mike.” I was no exception. I was also not tall, athletic, or talented. In the 9th and 10th grades, I wrestled. I was actually decent at the sport, even pinning a kid from a rival school in just nine seconds in a match. That’s a true story and also the highlight of my wrestling career. I likely could have done more, but I spent the majority of the time academically ineligible. Why? Well, I had a love/hate relationship with homework. I golfed in high school as well. My Grandfather was an avid golfer. He was good, too. I spent a number of years idolizing that man and golf was a way of getting his attention. It didn’t work. He never once even asked me to golf with him…

Scholastic sports aside, something profound happened to me in the Spring of 1991. I was in the second half of my Sophomore year of High School and had a love affair with movies. As most kids my age at the time, I was a huge fan of The Two Coreys. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman were in nearly all the influential movies of my youth. While their stories are tragic when viewed through the lens of hindsight, at the time they were my heroes. Enter Prayer of the Rollerboys!

Something about this movie struck a chord with me. I am not sure if it was the post 80s dystopian aesthetic, or the young Patricia Arquette’s natural sexiness (I was definitely deep into puberty) or the rebellious actions of the protagonists, but something excited me to no end. As is human nature, I wanted to emulate something I loved. I wanted to get Rollerblades.

Over the next couple of years, I formed a passionate love affair with the sport of in-line skating. I skated for fitness, I skated for sport, and I skated for fun. I watched the X-Games on ESPN and tried to mimic their moves (often with tragic consequences). To be wholly truthful, I got really good at it.

Shortly after High School, I joined the United States Marine Corps, where I began to travel the World. And everywhere I went, I brought my skates. I skated in North Caroline, Florida, Okinawa, Thailand, and California. I skated everywhere I could right up until the popularity of inline skating dwindled. I started to notice that when I was skating around, I was the only person skating around. That led to awkwardness, which ultimately led to a painful decision to stop altogether.

When my second wife (these are stories for another time) got pregnant for our oldest son in 2002, I started gaining some weight with her. When she lost the pregnancy weight after he was born, I didn’t. When she got pregnant with our second son in 2005, I gained even more weight with her. When she again lost the weight after he was born, coincidentally I did not. In 2009, in response to her constant harassment, I chose to quit smoking. On June 15th of 2009, I smoked my last cigarette, totally cold turkey. What I didn’t quit was the oral fetish associated with smoking and over the next several months my weight ballooned to an all time high of 279 lbs. That was my weight on my birthday in 2009 at the age of 34. Worse yet, when I lumbered into the bathroom to shower on the morning of my birthday, I saw in the mirror something that shocked me to the core: I had stretch marks on my stomach.

It is not easy sharing this picture. This is not even my heaviest. This is three weeks into the process when I finally found the courage to step in front of a camera.

The first thing that happened next was nothing…

Depression set in. Despair set in. The reality for most people that become obese is that really don’t see it happening. It actually comes as a surprise one day. They tend to trick their own mind into ignoring the signs as they are gaining the weight. I was no different. Lucky for me, New Year’s Day was right around the corner. And that is the time for resolutions.

I bought myself a recumbent stationary bike and began to exercise. I also took some advise from some gym-rat friends of mine and began to eat lean protein, rice, and vegetables. I began to track all of my calories in software on my computer (smartphones were still a few years off).

Before you applaud the next part of this story, it is important to note that I did this COMPLETELY the wrong way. I followed the flawed method of Calories in / Calories Out. I starved myself by taking in less than 1200 calories a day and I spent a ridiculous amount of time on the stationary bike. At the peak of my exercise routine, I was riding three hours a day. Right or wrong, it worked.

By the end of 2010, I was down to 180 lbs. I had also decided that summer to get a real bike. I had been watching the Tour de France for years and I wanted to be Lance Armstrong (he had not been disgraced yet), so I went on craigslist and found what I thought was the perfect bike. It was a 2000 Trek XO-1. It was an amazing bike, but not at all what I really wanted, in hindsight. I really knew nothing of cycling at the time. As it turned out, that was a cyclocross bike, which it designed very specifically for a certain sub-genre of cycling competitions. Regardless of my mistake, I rode the ever-loving shit out of that bike. FYI, it is still in my garage to this day. Another thing I did, as Spring began in 2010, was that I decided to shift my exercise routines to running. It was agonizing at first. Running is a vastly different cardiovascular activity to cycling. It is laborious and painful to the initiate and I suffered all the growing pains. However, after enduring it for months, I decided in the summer of 2010 to run my first 5k.

Warming up with the assistance of my oldest. This was my first 5k in August of 2010.

The Inner Harbor 5k in Syracuse, NY is still run every year, but that was my first official 5k. I was terrified. I was confused by how it all work. Luckily, I had my family with me to cheer me on. My oldest even ran alongside me while I jogged my warm-up. About a quarter mile into the run, my right foot found a pothole that my eyes never saw. CRACK. The pain was horrific. I limped for a couple of strides. A million thoughts streaked though my brain. Did I have to quit? Was I able to run? What did I do to my ankle? Did it matter?

The answer to the last question was an emphatic NO! Adrenaline was luckily still pumping through my body from the starting gun of the race. The sudden realization of a possible substantial injury only encouraged my adrenal glands further. I felt almost no pain as I ran the remainder of the race. I also ran it fast, finishing in under 24 min. Well, fast for me anyway. I also realized immediately after I finished, that I had done substantial damage to my ankle. As it turned out, it was a severe sprain but luckily not broken. Regardless, it hurt all the same.

That race ignited a love affair with running that carries on to this day. I have also continued to be an avid cyclist. A few years back, I added kayaking to my list of adventurous activities. There are a few more, and I will certainly address them over the coming blog posts. My accomplishments make me proud. I have run a lot of races, including full 26.2 mile marathons. I have biked in races and charity events, riding in several century rides. This spring, I am going to add a kayak race to the fold. In future posts, I will also be recounting some of my more memorable events. I will talk about my diets, both successful and otherwise. I will talk about my one attempt at a sprint triathlon and why it never even started. I will talk about my professional career and how it has served my fitness journey and how I am now able to guide others in their’s.

I hope you enjoyed this read and come back for more…

Christopher Hess, LMT

Be sure to return tomorrow to see what Saturdays’ topic will be.

February 20, 2020February 21, 2020

Starting Over

At the time I am writing this, no one reads my blog...

That is a very quick and concise explanation of my failures to date as it pertains to me putting myself out to the world. The reality is that I have actually done very little to improve that truth about my efforts. However, I do have a YouTube channel where I have posted some content. You may have even found this website through that channel. The disastrous truth about my YouTube channel is that I have never really organized my thoughts appropriately or had a well defined vision for what I wanted the channel to be.

Here’s the problem: I am “into” a number of things, but hardly an expert on any of them. The one subject to which I am legitimately an expert on is Massage Therapy. And while i am abundantly passionate about the subject, I have general held the belief that I should muddy the waters of my professional life my tackling that subject in these forums. I now, after much personal meditation, have decided it is time to change that. Yet I do not want to just be a YouTuber or Blogger on the subject of Massage. First of all, I would run out of topics rather quickly. Second, that is not my strongest passion in life. There are a myriad of other topics to which I feel I have a voice.

So what to do?

On January 1st of this year, I decided to begin daily vlogging. I had made the decision to finally bite the bullet and make it a priority. I was going to use YouTube as a daily journal of my thoughts on life, my career, my fitness, my travels…you name it. One thing I have never struggled with is having something to say. Although, come to behold, I did struggle. Primarily, I agonized over feeling repetitive and pigeon-holed on the finite subject matter. So I quit on February 1st…just one month in to the process.

So what next?

Blogging. Just plain and simple blogging. This medium, in my humble opinion, is better suited to my primary strength: the gift of gab. While I feel I thrive in a group conversation, easily playing off the riffs of others and making my voice heard, in the YouTube world of video content creation I fall short. My writing my thoughts down, I am able to eliminate the tedious editing process and get to focus on my thoughts. I can stop stressing over lighting and composition of the scene and aim my attention to syntax and sentence structure.

I am not planning on diving into this venture head first. I am going to take my time. I am going to do some more research on what makes a successful blog and what pitfalls to avoid. While I have already started the research, I want to start laying down the framework of how the blog is going to run and what the structure will look like. That will be fleshed out over the coming days.

I welcome feeback!

My primary motivator for doing this has remained the same in every iteration of my attempts to put myself out there: I feel I have something to say and I would like to be known for my opinion. Call me a egomaniac. Call me a narcissist. Call me a buffoon. It does not matter to me. First and foremost, I am doing this for myself. I have been doing this long enough in different formats that I have collected a decent catalog of content that I go back to occasionally and peruse. That allows me to learn from my failures and improve my methods going forward. I would love your assistance in that too. If you have any suggestions, tweaks, vast alterations, etc., please let me know. Comment on my posts, email me, PM on Facebook. Use whatever method of content works best for you. I welcome it all. Even if you want to tell that I am a stinking pile of refuse, go ahead. As long as you mean it…

-Christopher Hess, LMT