Category: Politics

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Stuck On The Hamster Wheel

Do you ever feel like you are not who you are supposed to be? Happens to me all the time.

I am not talking about vocation or name or even sex, necessarily. I am referring to a more existential sense of misalignment. There are moments, increasingly often as I once again battle my weight, that I feel like there is a completely different version of me stuck inside this meat and bone bag fighting to get out.

In my soul I am different than myself. I am a fit, charismatic, kind, and motivated individual with an inescapable need to help people and the world. I get glimpses of this version of myself regularly enough to know that person is real, tucked away deep inside of me.

So why can I not be this version of myself?

I think the answer to this question is very complicated. If I had to dumb it down and choose a singular culprit, I would say it is compulsive habits. There is no doubt many others share this same issue. I live my life in many ways on a proverbial hamster wheel. These habitual actions lead me astray sometimes. My eating schedule, sleep schedule, interactions with my wife, and work all play a part in forming this structure of life I cannot escape.

Normally, structure is a good thing. It provides a grounded sense of familiarity and safety in an otherwise unruly world. But when you are trying to make fundamental change to the way you live your life, this rigid way of living makes new habits extraordinarily difficult. This is the crux of my problem.

If you read yesterday’s post, you will know that I wanted to attempt a 30 hour fast followed by a 36 hour fast. This is incredibly difficult for me because my hamster wheel has been spinning for many years. The day started fine. I woke up, wrote yesterday’s post, did a workout, visited with my mother-in-law before she travelled home, went to Disney On Ice, came home and napped. All went well until I woke up from a 2 hour nap and those urges to eat kicked in. I struggled for hours with the jitters and that dreaded sense of emptiness in my belly.

I am very proud to say that with the help of my wife I was able to endure and finally fell back to sleep around 1am. I woke this morning to coffee, a bagel with cream cheese, and a pile of scrambled eggs. Next meal is dinner Tuesday. Oh, and seven pounds came off on the scale! Fasting is nuts

I am going to use this annual calendar transition as an opportunity to step off the hamster wheel for as long as possible. Wish me luck.

Chris

Weight: 221.8 lbs
Workouts: one hour of walking on the treadmill and I moved my whole gym around.

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Year’s End

As I sit in my kitchen drinking my morning coffee, it is easy to forget that today is New Year’s Eve. 2021 has been a hell of a year, both in great and terrible ways. One could even say the 20s have been the most demanding and rewarding years of our lives.

I have learned a lot this year. I have experienced a lot this year. I have lived a lot this year.

Even though we are still in the midst of a global pandemic, with cases now surging due to the Omicron variant, I am so hopeful for the future. Many of the measurable aspects of my life are in a state of growth and improvement. My business is thriving. My relationships are evolving in ways that feel beneficial. I have traveled to new places with the promise of more new experiences around the corner. I have very little to complain about.

As this year comes to a close, there is little I can reflect upon with disdain. Perhaps one is my experience with the political system. I have been involved in local politics for a number of years now, but this year was my first where I put myself out there and ran for office. I enjoyed so much of the experience, but there was much to be desired. When all was said and done, I left the process with a sense of emptiness. I see more clearly now than ever, the dispicable facets of the construct. There is an insidiousness that becomes hard to ignore. Even with the best of intentions, it is easy to get sucked into the polarizing blame game.

I don’t want to be that anymore.

So I am going to relax my grip on politics and its affect on today’s society. I want to let go of its obligation to erode relationships with people I care about. I want to stop allowing it to nurture relationships with people I should be avoiding (this may be the most important).

As this year comes to an end, I look forward to new year of opportunity. I find myself excited for a world of opportunity and growth in the coming months and years. My mind is awash with a desire to improve my existence, both existentially and spiritually.

The Fab Five will be on hand, as they always are, for The New Year’s Eve celebration

Tonight, following a full day’s work, I will sit with my wife to watch an online broadcast of the fireworks at Walt Disney World. In that moment, I will close the book on 2021 and reach for the next tome. I will begin writing that book tomorrow…starting with a longer Saturday morning post, where the distractions of the days preparation are not as demanding.

Enjoy whatever festivities you decide upon, be safe, and live your life the best way you can.

Weight: 223.4 (clearly I am not losing weight yet)
No workouts yesterday. I chose to use it as a rest day.

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Our New Normal – life with social distancing

Our new normal

Mourning the life we had

When we feel grief, it doesn’t always manifest in sorrow. I read something profound this morning. It was a quote I saw on Facebook that a friend of mine had shared. I have already forgotten the author’s name and I am paraphrasing here:

We are all in mourning…we are mourning what life used to be like…

There is so much truth in that. I recall the early days of my divorce in 2018 when several people gave me valuable advice. Two things stand out. The first is very similar to the quote above: In divorce, you are not sad about the divorce, but rather you are mourning the loss of the life you had because your new life is not the same.

The second recurring thing I was told was that the hardest thing in divorce is getting used to your new normal. Both of these ideas are born from the same notion that everything is different now. The same can be said for social distancing and living in the current world that is under assault from Covid-19.

Social Distancing = our new normal

Social Media as the canary in the mine

In the early days of the pandemic, as things in the United States were just starting to shut down, most of what I saw on social media was humor. There were countless memes addressing everything from relationships to toilet paper. That changed after several days. I began to see more hostile posts. More and more people were complaining about the inconvience of their situations. Angrier posts blamed Chinese people or New Yorkers for making things worse. Today, I have begun to see a shift in the tone again. Several people have shown sadness. There are some people who seem forlorn and confused.

This certainly reminds me of The Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Depression
  4. Bargaining
  5. Acceptance

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle

If the comical memes and people like the President saying it was a hoax is denial and the demand for New Yorkers to stay in New York was anger, then it would make sense for people today to be depressed. Honestly, I felt depressed yesterday too.

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle
At the time of this post, I believe we are in the Depression stage.

Depression is not a normal state for me. I have made it part of existence to avoid the trappings of depression. By living an active lifestyle, I obtain the endorphines I need to maintain a positive mental state and I try to eat in a way that reduces inflammation and the associated trappings that leads to. I have read and studied some Buddhist teachings and I used to meditate often. I need to meditate more.

But what comes next? As society enters into the bargaining stage, what form does that take? Will people start making unsafe decisions? Are we going to see packed churches? Schools opening back up? I would make the argument that we are already seeing that. We need to keep our focus and treat this pandemic for what it is. We need strong leaders with an appropriate message.

Click here to read about why I think Trump is the problem

We need stronger leaders

We need President Trump to incrementally make this worse. Up until today, he was claiming we would open for business by Easter. Now he has adjusted the timeline to April 30th. At some point, an adult in the room needs to tell the truth to the American Public…this is going to go on until long into the summer…this is going to be our NEW NORMAL!

Check out my daily rant on YouTube. I have softened my tone a little bit as I am moving through the depression stage. I will not bargain with my health, though…

See you tomorrow,

Chris

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Trump and Animal Crossing – Reality vs Fantasy

Trump and Animal Crossing

Game of Thrones in US Politics

There is clearly no love lost between Governor Cuomo of New York and President Trump. I have been shocked over the last few weeks at how well they have gotten along during the Covid-19 outbreak, but that seems to be coming to an end.

It started a couple of days ago when Trump said that he doesn’t believe that New York State needs forty thousand ventilators. During an appearance on Hannity, a FOX News program hosted by an adoring sycophant, Trump said this:

“I have a feeling that a lot of the numbers that are being said in some areas are just bigger than they’re going to need,” the president said. “I don’t believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators. You know, you go to major hospitals, sometimes they have two ventilators. Now all of a sudden they’re saying can we order 30,000 ventilators.”

Bully in Chief

It is appalling that Trump uses something like ventilators as a device to control behavior. He is exploiting New York’s and other states’ need for aid as a way of achieving fealty. Reports came out of the White House on Friday that Trump instructed the Vice President to not reach out to Governors who aren’t “appreciative” of his efforts. This is what Trump said during a White House Daily Briefing:

“I think they should be appreciative. Because you know what? When they’re not appreciative to me, they’re not appreciative to the Army Corps [of Engineers], they’re not appreciative to FEMA. It’s not right,”

Because I don’t want anyone to think I am taking things out of context, here is the interaction in its entirety:

He has been lying from the start

As I ranted about yesterday, I see people on social media applauding the efforts of Donald Trump and it disgusts me. He began this whole ordeal by denying its existence. He followed that up by claiming we were going to defeat it before it takes hold. Then, he claimed it was all a Democrat hoax to derail his reelection. Recently, he made obtuse claims that people don’t want the economy to fail and that everyone he talks to is pleading to go back to work to save the Stock Market. Now he is holding federal aid hostage and demanding Governors “kiss the ring” in order to get assistance.

Doesn’t this all sound a little bit like The Godfather or Scarface?

Donny Montana - Trump as Tony Montana
Donny Montana

The latest fiasco coming out of The White House was Trump indicating that he may enact a quarantine of New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. This would essentially close the borders of the states. First of all, this is most likely unconstitutional and outside of his executive power. Second, he didn’t even discuss this with the Governors of the three states mentioned. All three pushed back.

While speaking with CNN’s Ana Cabrera, Governor Cuomo of New York said the following:

“It would be chaos and mayhem,”

“It’s totally opposite everything he’s been saying. I don’t think it is plausible. I don’t think it is legal.”

“This would be a federal declaration of war on states,”

That last statement made by Cuomo has very deliberate phrasing. It acts as a line in the sand, per se. I only hope there is someone in The Oval Office that is speaking rationally to the President. He is in uncharted waters and he is making a lot of mistakes. Sadly, these mistakes have the potential to cause a lot of death and do serious harm to the economy.

My escape from the national chaos

On a very different note, I would like to take a few moments to express my sheer love and admiration for Animal Crossing on the Nintendo Switch. It has been a welcome distraction during this last week of severe social distancing (I still hate that term).

This new game, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, is technically the fifth release in a series of games that have scanned several consoles. There have been a few spin-off releases, as well. In hindsight, I am saddened that this new one is the first one I have played.

For those that have not heard of Animal Crossing, the concept is simple:

You are a human who decides to move to an deserted island owned by a company called Nook, Inc. There, you are going to act as a representative of a new flock of animals that are going to build a community there. You start with a tent and some simple tools and build your way to a thriving city over time.

click here to read about my history with video games

I am amazed by the manner in which the games takes full advantage of our brains’ dopamine reward system. The next achievement is always in sight and easy enough to obtain. It keeps you playing with a nice balance of “cute” and “challenge.” If you own a Nintendo Switch, I highly recommend this game.

At the time I am writing this, there are five of us currently living in the house and all five of us are playing the game. We take turns visiting each other’s islands and trading fruits and other supplies.

I guess this is what the apocalypse looks like:

My character in Animal Crossing
This is my character in Animal Crossing. Like real life, he is spending most of his time in a robe on the couch with a safety mask…

See you tomorrow…

Chris

Oh, and here is today’s YouTube vlog post:

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Pandemic Politics: Navigating Debate and Uncertainty

So many reasons, so little time

Pandemic Politics

I recently made the decision to unfriend a bunch of people on Facebook. For years I have kept ties with many of my social media contacts who had dissenting opinions to me. I convinced myself there was value to understanding how people viewed politics from a different position in life. The idea was that I could better convey my own beliefs by processing them through debate with these people. I am now done with that.

The current state of the world has altered things. Gone are the days of passionate debate and a desire to find common ground. Why? How did we get here? Who’s “fault” is it?

click here to read about kayaking during a pandemic

I think the answer to those questions is complicated. I would argue that it is actually a series of dominoes that have fallen to get us here. The following is my OPINION. Its just one person’s opinion and I am sure everyone else has their own. Remember, I am not a poly-sci major nor do I work in politics. Regardless, here it is:

The main culprits of our political divide are the following:

  • The 24 hour news cycle
    • When cable made its first appearance in the early 1980s, CNN splashed onto the scene, bringing the opportunity for us all to view the news whenever we wanted. As time went on, more cable news organizations came onto the scene. Competition demanded that news become more and more sensationalized in order to win market share and ultimately more advertising dollars
  • The election of Obama
    • I truly believe that a large portion of our society is inherently racist. In most people, it is latent. The average person is not going to say or do overtly racist things, but rather they exist in a native state of racism. It is common for many people to be fearful of black and brown people. It is also not unusual for people to feel that minorities are taking an unfair portion of the proverbial pie.
    • The election of President Barack Obama tapped into that inherent racism. I feel a large swath of people became invigorated by politics born from a sense of fear and that latent racism.
  • The Tea Party
    • During the early days of Obama’s Presidency, there was a coup of sorts in the Republican Party. The Tea Party was born of a desire from the base of the party to move the national agenda further to the right. They began winning local elections, then state elections, and ultimately finding their way into a smattering of seats in The House of Representatives.
    • During the debates of The Affordable Care Act, the Tea Party was instrumental in damaging public opinion of the legislation. Following that debacle, they further influenced John Boehner (the Speaker of The House at the time) into a series of grandstanding moves to stop budget progress. This took specific form during the need to raise the debt ceiling following President Obama’s financial moves to rebuild the economy after the crash of 2008.
  • Mitch McConnell
    • The obstructionist playbook was expanded by Mitch McConnell when he publicly stated, “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
    • As Majority Leader of the Senate, he was uniquely positioned to block every possible piece of legislation the Democrats brought debate. He refused to allow votes on popular bills. McConnell used a myriad of parliamentary maneuvers to block legislation on a regular basis. He is the epitome of the phrase, “do nothing politics.”
  • The Democratic Party
    • For their part, the Democratic Party also has some blame to share. On the national level, the party is actually quite dysfunctional. For decades, it has lacked a cohesive voice. The leaders of the party seek some sort of balance of moderation and progressiveness, all the while achieving neither.
    • The Democrats are wonderful at cannibalizing their own party. If a Republican does something untoward publicly, their party tends to close ranks and speak no ill will. The Democrats are far to quick to publicly admonish their own side, often making the party look elitist and fractured.
    • The Democrats have never seemingly been a single party, but rather a pack of people with 100,000 different agendas. Instead of building a coalition of strong candidates with a cohesive agenda, a hodgepodge of activists seem to drive the agenda and the message is lost in the noise.
  • The Religious Right
    • Somewhere along the line, the Republic party was hijacked by religion. I am unsure if it is actual ideology or the fear of public admonishment that scares candidates the most. Realistically, it is more likely that GOP candidates are the recipients of large donations by religious organizations and beholden to the marketing of Political Action Committees controlled by the same groups.
    • The Religious Right ultimately has two agendas in today’s political sphere: Stop Abortion and the dismantling of equal rights for the LGTBQ community.
    • The Social Conservative Movement, as it likes to refer to itself, is the main driver of public discourse for most people. It is hard to argue fiscal politics, but being for or against abortion is easy…and no one will ever change your mind.

Live and let live

So I quit. It is easier to give up on arguing with my friends. I tried for so long to be polite in my social media posts. I tried to ensure that I was using facts and logic to make my point. The biggest problem to arise from the current political divide is the phenomenon of Confirmation Bias. This refers to the natural disposition people have to only see “truths” in their own opinion. If they believe something to be true, they will only seek out information to support and they will ignore information that contradicts it.

On my YouTube channel today, I posted a rant about this very subject. Check it out: